"Long distance relationships suck" or " Long distance relationships are possibilities". When it comes to the term "relationship", people come up with different definitions of what a relationship is or rather what it's supposed to be. On the other hand, many don't know what it means to be in a relationship. Not necessarily because they are nuns but because they don't know the word commitment. Well "commitment" is exactly what a long distance relationship demands. People often seem to forget that. The thought of your beloved partner going away , or if he/she is already away, can be quite frightening. Different things might be going through your mind. Things like : "what is he/she doing right now", "Is he/she seeing someone else", " Am I still in a relationship ?"...etc. These kind of thoughts
(phone rings at 2am)
Shalewa (Calabar) : Honey
Tayo (Alaska) : ah ! sweetheart, kilonshele ? Is anything wrong ?
Shalewa: sweetie, i'm fine...are you with another woman ?
Tayo: What do you mean ?
Shalewa: Jessica said she saw you with another woman that is why i'm asking ni
Tayo: Shalewa ? are you mad ? Who the hell is Jessica ? So you call me at 2am to ask me stupid questions ? E don dey madt !
Shalewa: Tayo, na me you dey yab like this ehn ? You think say I no say you get oyinbo wey you dey friend for yankee ?
( the argument goes on)
This is just an example of how senseless an argument can while being in a long distance relationship. Two out of three people will say long distance relationships are a " no go" area. Well, it's quite understandable. To make a relationship work out, the parties involved ought to be on the same page. The following are reasons why most (long distance) relationships don't work out :
1) Lack of trust - trust is key in a relationship. If you don't trust your partner, then what's the point of being together ? It would be more of a Tom and Jerry situation. An important question is : " Do you give your partner a reason not to trust you ?"
2) Wrong foundation - infatuation, to be precised. You might step into the club looking all fly and all, sight a hot chick, like/love her but for the wrong reasons.
3) Lies - main reason why relationships end. If you know you have a "dark past", it's best you come clean before your relationship gets serious, or even before you both start dating officially. It's not fun for a female to find out her boyfriend/husband is/was a gigolo, ex-convict, serial killer, dupe... by other means. And neither is it fun for a male to find out his girlfriend/wife already has 9 children in an other continent or is a North - Korean spy ( too much NCIS, but the bottom line is obvious)
4) Jealousy - Jealousy will kill the relationship. Notwithstanding the fact that jealousy often leads to obsession. Obsession on its own is a slow poison depending on its gravity.
5) Difference in being - there is nothing one can do about this. Two people ought to be on the same page or at least understand each other.
6) The third party - cheating isn't nice, child. If you have a problem with your partner, settle it instead of cheating on him/her just to cause him/her pain. Or if you know you can't commit to one person, burst the bubble of in being in a relationship.
7) sex - ....
Out of the seven reasons above, numbers 1, 4,6 and 7 are the main bullets in a long distance relationship.
Wait ! Wait ! Tayo and Shalewa will you WAIT !! I am not finished yet !!
Not all long distance relationships flop. It takes two hearts, maturity, trust, and true love to make things work. And another thing is the location where both parties met. Was it at a party ? Was it in an airplane ? Was it on Facebook or Twitter ? Or some random dating site? Personally, I wouldn't advice anyone to date online. At least both parties should meet in person before thinking of indulging in a relationship. The internet is never what it seems.
Long distance relationships aren't fairy tales. They are stories written with a blue or red pen.
No comments:
Post a Comment